Fantasy Football: Volume II: Chapter 10

Volume II: Chapter 10: Censorship

“Censorship ends in logical completeness when nobody is allowed to read any books except the books that nobody reads.” – George Bernard Shaw

As evident from our past Fantasy Football Columns, we are censored. So much so, that the strength of our diction cannot fully be appreciated by our readership. We apologize. The writing in previous columns are not up to par that we normally are at. As a sponsored column by Viking Magazine, our column must meet the values of the magazine. However, this soon is to change. After hearing about the ineptitude of our fellow fantasy football players at Paly, we now realize that we must continue this column. To insure that our writing is even bolder than before, however, we are going to not allow censorship in the way.

Honestly, the way we see it is as an equation. The more censorship there is, the worse our fantasy football advice is. That I why, us gurus, have a gigantic announcement to make… Oh wait, you are going to have to wait until next week because we are being censored right now and we must log off!  

Love/Hate List

Steven Marinkovich

Love: Mike Evans – Mike Evans has been an absolute animal this season. I know he’s in concussion protocol, but with a whole 10 days between last week’s game and this week’s game, Evans should be ready to go this week. If he plays, he will be taking on an absolutely horrific Chicago Bears defense and could put up another 20+ points this week.

Hate: Cam Newton – Super Scam Newton has had a hugely disappointing season thus far. Ever since he didn’t dive on the ball in the Super Bowl, everything has been going against Scam. With a tough matchup this week against the surging Kansas City Chiefs, expect yet ANOTHER disappointing game from the overrated fraud.

Ben Cleasby

Love: Lamar Miller – The Jacksonville Jaguars have allowed over 15 fantasy points to opposing backfields per game this year. Well that’s just music to my ears considering Lamar Miller will be running down their throats. Miller averages just over 70 percent of the Texans backfield touches, that sets him up to cause some pain. Miller only has two touchdowns on the season, he’s hungry for the endzone and will even take the form of a flaming pony just to be able to score. Look for this steed to carry the dogmeat Brock Osweiler to victory.

Hate: Drew Brees – Denver is scary. They just know how to play good defense. I mean, Von Miller frolicks to quarterbacks like it ain’t no thang. Brees still isn’t a bad play, after all he is Drew Mabriggy, just the odds are against him to live up to his full potential. If you happen to have another elite QB in the back of your pocket, than you’re fortunate and should go ahead and play him. Otherwise sticking with Brees isn’t a bad option, just not the best.

Ethan Stern

Love: Robert Kelley – Who is this man? This is question that is flying through the minds of the masses of fantasy football team owners. Well, I am here today to uncover the truth about this rando. I recently met up with an old Friend Jay Gruden for a delightful brunch filled with an assortment of quiche and beignets. In our discussion, Jay, the coach of the Redskins, informed me that young buck R. Kelley will be getting the majority of carries in their week 10 matchup against a tough, but penetrable opponent in the Vikings. I forecast Rob Kelley to put up anything north of 13 fantasy points.

Hate: J.P. Sad Boys – This week’s matchup will be an interesting one due to many speculating that this is the preview to the deuce game. I can’t hate on my boy Eeeeeeebbbbsss, it’s a down year for both of us so however the year plays out I love the man. This isn’t really a hate, sorry readers.

Peter Snodgrass

Love: Corey Coleman – He is back. The first round pick is finally ready to go and poised to have a big week. With the Ravens offense rolling, the games looks to be high scoring, if so, the atrocious Browns will be fighting from behind and throwing the ball a ton. Look for Coleman to strip off his kid gloves and put on his man gloves and prove why he was a first round pick.

Hate: Jimmy Graham – Unfortunately for you dirty Seahawks fans, Graham is not going to have a big game. There will, however, be one shining TE on the field, Rob Gronkowski. Sorry Jimmy, but I pity the fool who plays him against the winning Patriots.

Jamie Cullen

Love: Jay Ajayi – His first name is in his last name. Ajayi has been on a historic run recently, with over 500 total rushing yards in the last three games alone. Ajayi is halfway to one thousand rushing yards, and he only has 3 starts this year. The best defense against the run in the league (New York Jets) couldn’t slow him down last week, so don’t expect the Chargers to stop him either. All aboard the J-train.

Hate: Martellus Bennett – I’m mostly hating on Martellus Bennett because Jordan Schilling thought he was still on the Bears when he drafted him, and stupidity like that cannot be tolerated. In addition, the Patriots face off against the tough Seahawks defense this week, and if anyone has a big game it’s gonna be Gronk. Don’t expect big things from Bennett.

Dillon Scheel

Love: Davante Adams – This Palo Alto product has found his groove with Aaron Rodgers. The two have been in sync the last few weeks and Adams continues to see consistent Red-Zone targets. With three touchdowns in his last three games, Adams has a great chance to reach the end zone in week 10 against Tennessee.

Hate: Odell Beckham Jr. – This is a bit of a gut call here. He had two touchdowns last week and I don’t see him repeating that again this week. On a more reasonable note, he hasn’t passed 50 yards in the last two weeks. I see the respectable Bengals pass defense shutting down New York’s number one in this contest.

Deep Sleeper of the Week

Paul Perkins – I, Steven, was forced to write this deep sleeper section alone so I went with someone I’m forced to start this week. WIth three of my four running backs on bye, I picked up this diamond in the rough and am optimistic that he could put up double digits this week as his New York Giants take on an average Bengals defense.

Bold Prediction of the Week – This week’s matchup between Ethan Stern (Gahfilta Fish) and Eric Maser (J.P. Sad Boys) will be a preview of this season’s deuce, the last place game.

Tweet the gurus any questions you have about your team @VikingFantasyFB