Fantasy Football: Volume II: Chapter 14

Volume II: Chapter 14: Time for a Heart to Heart

“We leave something of ourselves behind when we leave a place, we stay there, even though we go away. And there are things in us that we can find again only by going back there.” –Pascal Mercier

Here at Viking, we as fantasy gurus are put under an abundance of pressure to perform every week. We’ve slacked this year and that could be due to a plethora of reasons. However, we want to move on and focus on the present, which is our second to last Gurus column ever published on vikingsportsmag.com.

Due to our plethora of reasons, this will be the last Gurus of the semester, a playoff primer. After break, we’ll be back with a tear-jerker, our last column, which will look back at the journey of the Gurus over the past two football seasons.

We do it for our fans, our loyal fans. We hope you enjoy this penultimate column and you never know, not all good things must come to an end.

Final Regular Season Standings (Top six qualify for playoffs)

1. Steven Marinkovich 10-3
2. Jamie Cullen 9-4
3. Ben Cleasby 9-4
4. Peter Snodgrass 7-6
5. Dillon Scheel 6-7
6. Jordan Schilling 5-8

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1. Eric Maser 3-10
2. Ethan Stern 3-10

Love/Hate List

Steven Marinkovich

Love: Justin Tucker – Give me a tummy tuck, this guy is more than just a kicker. He’s an athlete and he is carrying the Baltimore Ravens this season. As I finished with the league’s best record, I’m on bye this week. As a result, I’m allowed to sit back this weekend and bask in the glory that is Justin Tucker.

Hate: Peter Snodgrass’ ankles – THE MAN IS A FRAUD. Born with weak ankles, Peter Snodgrass has somehow been awarded Most Outstanding Offensive Linemen in the SCVAL league for this past football season and that is actually pretty respectable. However, over the weekend, Mr. Snodgrass severely sprained his ankle and refuses to tell anyone, even his best friends, how he did it. Watch out for his weak ankles as they will definitely let you down in the future.

Ben Cleasby

Love: Odell Beckham Jr. – They’re coming! They’re coming! OBJ is good. Sometimes he dances kind of funny, but like that’s all good because he’s kind of saucy. He’ll have a good week, the shaman told me.

Hate: Jarvis Landry – He was good. His relevance has disappeared. Danny Davis was snowboarding one day and envisioned Landry not doing so well this week. When a snowboarder can hand plant a 16 foot wall, you gotta trust the man.

Ethan Stern

Love: Disregard this – I’m going to hit the readers with the truth right now, I am in last place this year and will be in the loser’s game. It’s just how the tide turned this year and I am officially at a place in my life where I am okay telling the masses that I am a poor fantasy player this year. My team is catching a little momentum going into this game for the underachievers, but honestly, I don’t even trust my own gut at this point. If I had to say a love for this week I guess it would be Stephen Gostkowski because he will try and show up Justin Tucker, but who knows man.

Hate: Disregard this – Same story here, whoever I say will probably go absolutely go HAM this week so if you’re feeling risky and in a really ‘why not’ mood play whoever I say not to play. I believe that Travis Kelce will have a poor week because the Raiders are too swaggin’ of a group of studs. Interpret how you wish.

Peter Snodgrass

Love: Demarco Murray – I Just love the man. You never know what you will get from most running backs, but with Murray, it seems to be he will either score or put up 100 rushing yards.

Hate: Whooping Cough – Paly has recently been overrun with the whooping cough as we have watched multiple students pulled from classes due to their cough. Fortunately, two of our gurus have had negative tests so we are not the source. However, as prophets, we predict that this epidemic may linger longer than usual.

Jamie Cullen

Love: Bye Weeks – After clinching the number two seed in the playoffs, my team is on a bye this week, so I don’t have to worry about anything until next week. Having a bye in fantasy football has inspired me to make this week a bye week in the love column too, so nobody gets to hear who I love this week.

Hate: LA Rams Offense except Todd Gurley – The Rams offense has been so bad this year, they turned an all-pro caliber player into one of the lowest scoring running backs in the league. The horrible offensive line has apparently forgotten that their job is to block for Gurley instead of throwing defenders at him. Gurley has nowhere to run and gets swallowed up faster than his lineman swallow donuts. In addition, my little brother’s pop warner team poses a greater passing threat than any of the Rams quarterbacks, leaving defenses to stack the box against Gurley.

Dillon Scheel

Love: Tyrell Williams – Sandy egg-o… SUPA CHAAAJAS. The Chargers are almost out of playoff contention, so they are going to be playing their hearts out and that means some serious action from the River Meyster. And who is his favorite receiver right now? Ty Rellius Illiumz. He has scored in four straight and he has a chance to score again versus the Panthers’ weakened secondary.

Hate: Allen Robinson – A Rob Dyrdek. C’mon now. If you were waiting and hoping that big man Robinso would break out like he did last season, it’s time to give up on that hope. He has not exceeded three receptions in any of the past three weeks. Although he gets a lot of targets, the chemistry is just not there. Defenses are all over him. Stop dreaming about last year’s successes and look elsewhere this week.

Deep Sleeper of the Week – A Gurus blog that continues into college…

Bold Prediction of the Week – A rare moment of reality from us: we predict that everyone who the Gurus have influenced in anyway will get into whatever colleges they want as December 15th approaches.

Winners’ Playoff Bracket

1. Steven Marinkovich

Bye

1. Peter Snodgrass
2. Dillon Scheel

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1. Ben Cleasby
2. Jordan Schilling

Bye

1. Jamie Cullen

The Deuce (Losers’ Playoff Matchup; Best-of-Three)

1. Eric Maser
2. Ethan Stern

Tweet the gurus any questions you have about your team @VikingFantasyFB