Fantasy Football: Volume II: Chapter 3

Volume II: Chapter 3: One Time for the Last Time

“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”

– Dr. Seuss

The sleepover was succulent, the games were juicy, and the times were outrageous. Sleep was obsolete, with the reality of this being the last time, a time for the record books, weighing down whatever dreams are minds could Christian Ponder up. However, together we must bear on. As we battle through the frozen tundra that is our final year together, those who lost in week one look to embark on the path of recovery.

Material in this chapter may be dry, but get cozy with a nice roast beef sandy and take in the love that we all share for the beautiful sport of fantasy football.

Matchups from Week

Ben Cleasby beats Steven Marinkovich 101-76

Dillon Scheel beats Peter Snodgrass 106-94

Jamie Cullen beats Eric Maser 137-129

Jordan Schilling beats Ethan Stern 95-71

Love/Hate List

Steven Marinkovich

Love: Ezekiel Elliott – My love last week didn’t go exactly ideally with Coby Fleener putting up fat goose egg, but this week is different. Ezekiel Elliott may have had an absolutely disgusting 2.55 yards per carry last week, but this Redskins defense looked like a dried up piece of roast beef last week, allowing DeAngelo Williams to carve them up. Elliott will have his breakout game this week putting up 100+ yards along with a touchdown or two.

Hate: Devonta Freeman – Like the wise, D-1 bound long snapper Peter Snodgrass once said, “He plays the Raiders. End of story… RAAIIIIIIIDDDEEERRRRRSSSSS.”

Ben Cleasby

Love: Jeremy Langford – The Philadelphia defense is so porous they allowed 5.6 yards per carry to a horrifying Cleveland offense. Even Isaiah Crowell, the last person anybody wants in their line up, did well by putting up a 13. Langford last week proved to be the workhorse back and was even left in the game for the goal line carries. Going up against a terrible defense and being burdened a full workload, let Langford become your, “Friend who rides majestic, translucent steeds, shooting flaming arrows across the bridge of hemdale.” – Step Brothers.

Hate: Russell Wilson – This is a simple one. When a man has weak ankles, he’s just got weak ankles. Don’t dabble in the weak ankles or you’ll regret it, that’s a promise. He may start the game, but watch out for my boy from TCU to get some reps, deuce-boogie Trevone Boykin. With the quarterback position being so deep this year it should be no problem finding a suitable replacement. Pick up Alex Smith for all I care, anybody who doesn’t have weak ankles will suffice.  

Ethan Stern

Love: Blake Bortles – Potent is the word that comes to mind when I think of Blake Bortles going into week two. San Diego’s defense is subpar at best, but their explosive offense keeps them in many games. Look for a gun slingin’ offensive showdown between the Dirty River Man Philip Rivers and the maturing Blake Bortles. I forecast Bortles to throw down anything north of 17 fantasy points and hopefully lead the fantasy goldmine Jaguars to victory in a nail biter this Sunday.

Hate: A.J. Green – Week one is a firm decider of the destiny for rest of the year for many fantasy managers. Though this is generally a good idea, for A.J. Green: IT’S A TRAP! With fluke long bombs to Green supplying his big fantasy week, going against an overall suave Steelers defense I just can not see A.J. Green having the same type of week he did last week. I forecast numbers south of seven this week and just remember readers, don’t fall for the traps.

Peter Snodgrass

Love: Sterling Shepard – After a strong week one outing, Shepherd looks to continue his path towards stardom against a struggling defense. The Saints defense gave up 319 yards against the Raiders and will likely stick their best DB on OBJ, giving Shepard more air to breath. While, Victor Cruz will take away targets after his strong outing, but eventually look for Shepard to guide the way.

Hate:  Julio Jones – He plays the Raiders. End of story… RAAIIIIIIIDDDEEERRRRRSSSSS.

Jamie Cullen

Love: Brandin Cooks – I made the mistake of not playing Cooks last week, and he proceeded to go off for 27 points. Cooks has emerged as a go to target for Drew Brees, and look for him to get a lot of targets against a very weak New York Football Giants secondary.

Hate: Amari Cooper – Cooper had a great week last week, but that was against a disgusting New Orleans secondary that would struggle to cover a toddler with moderate change of direction skills. Atlanta’s defense isn’t amazing, but they do have one of the best cornerbacks in the league in Desmond Trufant. Trufant will likely be on Cooper for most of the game, so don’t expect as much production from the former Alabama wide receiver.

Dillon Scheel

Love: Mark Ingram – New Orleans had a healthy lead last week in the second half, but they continued to throw the ball which led to some quick changes of possession. Had they stuck to the ground game with Ingram they could have held possession and the lead. I would expect a slight change of game plan this week and a heavier rushing attack that will benefit Ingram against the Giants.

Hate: T.J. Yeldon – The guy is rarely productive. He had less than 2 yards per carry last week against Green Bay, with a large sample size of 21 carries. Chris Ivory may come back this week versus San Diego, so he will promise to take touches away from Yeldon. I would expect Bortles and the Jags to stick to the passing game this week against the Chargers.

Deep Sleeper of the Week

Jared Goff – Despite not even being active this week, Goff will rebound and put up a cool 27.3. The Rams got absolutely pasted and need to bounce back in any way possible and that’s going to by throwing their rookie QB into the fire.

Bold Prediction of the Week – Martellus Bennett to put up a 20+

In an ode to Jordan Schilling, we throw Martellus Bennett some love. Big man Jo drafted Bennett thinking he was still a member of the Chicago Bears and not the backup tight end in New England. Gronk may be back, but he won’t be 100% and will serve as a decoy, allowing Bennett to show out in honor of Jschill.

This Week’s Matchups

Steven Marinkovich V. Peter Snodgrass

Dillon Scheel V. Ben Cleasby

Jordan Schilling V. Jamie Cullen

Ethan Stern V. Eric Maser

Tweet the gurus any questions you have about your team @VikingFantasyFB