Fantasy Football: Chapter 15

January 14, 2016

Chapter 15: Nice Guys Finish Last

Despite winning the league championship, Dillon Scheel might have actually lost what truly matters, the $552 cash prize. After a couple weeks of not claiming the money, the Gurus saw the Powerball Jackpot rise to $1.5B. After a unanimous league vote that excluded Dillon, the Gurus decided to purchase 276 lottery tickets in hopes of hitting it big. As none of the Gurus are 18 years of age, they recruited Ethan’s father (s/o Adam Stern) to purchase the tickets. He thought it was stupid, but we remained optimistic.


We didn’t win the Powerball, but Dillon lost more than the rest of us.


Winners’ Playoff Bracket

First Round

1. Jordan Schilling



4. Ethan Stern – 120

5. Ben Cleasby – 101


3. Peter Snodgrass – 93

6. Dillon Scheel – 122



2. Steven Marinkovich


Second Round

1. Jordan Schilling – 74

4. Ethan Stern – 87


6. Dillon Scheel – 111*

1. Steven Marinkovich – 110



4. Ethan Stern – 67

6. Dillon Scheel – 99


2015 League Champion: Dillon Scheel

*Dillon Scheel won this game with the biggest fleece in league history. A Tim Hightower reception as time expired in the Monday Night Week 15 game saw him give Dillon two points, swinging the score from 109-110 to 111-110. #PrayForSteven


The Deuce (Losers’ Playoff Matchup; Best-of-Three)

Week 1

7. Jamie Cullen – 95

8. Eric Maser – 96


Week 2

7. Jamie Cullen – 132

8. Eric Maser – 72


Week 3

7. Jamie Cullen – 90

8. Eric Maser – 98

2015 Deuce Winner for Last Place: Jamie Cullen


The Guru’s Fantasy Awards

Player of the Year: Cam Newton

Super Cam was incredible this season. Through the air and on the ground, Cam was dabbing his way through all the defenses he faced. He’s the potential NFL MVP and he totally deserves it.


Surprise of the Year: Devonta Freeman

People knew that Freeman had potential this season, but after losing his starting spot in the preseason to Tevin Coleman, his outlook wasn’t that great. He took advantage of a Coleman injury and turned into one of the top backs in the league. Despite finishing the season poorly, he still finished as the highest scoring running back.


Deep Sleeper of the Year: Doug Martin

Everybody gave up on the Muscle Hamster and quietly he had a great year. Doug finished 3rd in scoring for running backs this season and you really wouldn’t know that unless somebody told you. Not even a top-20 preseason running back, Doug crushed expectations and deserves this award.


Fossil of the Year: Larry Fitzgerald

Most people thought that Larry Fitz the fossil was pretty much done. The Cardinals were great this season and he was a big part of that. Fitz served as Carson Palmer’s top target and put up great numbers. Everybody loves Larry Fitz and the Gurus hope he can get his ring before he hangs them up.


Disappointment of the Year: DeMarco Murray

Probably the biggest free agent signing of the offseason, Murray was so disappointing this season. Murray lost his starting spot to Ryan Mathews late in the season and now there’s the possibility that the Eagles release him. Overall, it was a very disappointing season for DeMarco.


Rookie of the Year: Todd Gurley

Despite missing the start of the season with an ACL injury, Todd Gurley was a beast. He finished 5th in scoring for running backs. Expect him to have an even better season next year as he’ll be fully healthy and the Rams’ move to L.A. will surely fire him up.


IDP of the Year: Khalil Mack

Even though the only person we know of who plays with IDPs is Steven’s dad (s/o Doug Marinkovich), Khalil Mack was an absolute beast this season as he was First Team All-Pro at both outside linebacker and defensive end. We don’t know for sure, but we figure he’s close to the top of highest scoring IDPs.

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